so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
