I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
