How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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