what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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