How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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