from now on my penis is your penis
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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