Ambien. No doubt about it.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
