yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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