I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
