Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
