I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
