Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
