i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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