dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
how drunk are you?
Several
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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