the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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