dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
