just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You ruined the universe
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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