Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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