hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize