They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
