Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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