What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize