dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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