If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
As shirtless as possible
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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