I cut my penus on the lid.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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