she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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