i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
