If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
