im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
