Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
