is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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