Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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