turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
