after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
