the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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