Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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