You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
