so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can I color on your dick again?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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