Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
