I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
