Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
