All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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