man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
