***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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