Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize