it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
