normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i love accidental penises.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
