That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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