You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He did a backflip because drugs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
