I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
