you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
