well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
