I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
