I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
