We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
