I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
