I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
