I must be too annoying 4 u.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
