i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If i come over, it means nothing
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
