Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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