I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
