I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
